


i hate you to the moon and back <3

by chocolavi



Series: Kagehina Week 2020!! [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Day 2 - Films, Embarrassment, Fluff, KageHina Week 2020, Kagehina are A-List Actors, Kagehinaweek20, Love/Hate, M/M, Self-Indulgent, Tsukishima is done, We die like (wo)men, un-betaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:36:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24740125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolavi/pseuds/chocolavi
Summary: Kageyama can't decide what's worse, being in an online feud with his boyfriend and having it displayed on national TV for everyone to see, or having his pictures leaked. Maybe both.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Series: Kagehina Week 2020!! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1788559
Comments: 16
Kudos: 372
Collections: Kagehina Week 2020, My favorite haikyuu fics





	i hate you to the moon and back <3

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crackfic please don't take me seriously. This is not beta-ed!!

“Kageyama, you’re known for being very reserved and composed in any and all situations. But have there been any times during the filming for _Haikyuu_ that you’ve....snapped? Gotten angry? Thrown a tantrum?” 

Kageyama scoffs, rolling his eyes back into his head. “When you’re spending all day in a set with the utter _dumbass_ that is Hinata, it’s hard to keep your composure for even a minute.”

Laughter scatters throughout the audience, and Jimmy stifles a laugh, leaning in, clearly interested. “Hinata? Hinata Shouyou? Oh, but he’s an absolute delight! He’s never been on here before, but I’ve exchanged a couple of greetings with him and he really does give off the whole 'warm sunshine' vibe the kids are tweeting about nowadays. “

Kageyama snorts, “He’s an _actor,_ Jimmy. Maybe a second-rate one, but an actor nonetheless.”

Fallon stares at him perplexed, along with the rest of the audience. “Do you two not get along? I was sure, with the constant bickering you two have, that you were friends of some sort. Not to mention the chemistry you two seemed to have while filming!” The screen behind them plays a scene that isn’t necessarily focused on them, but the camera pans further, zooming into two figures—namely Kageyama and Hinata, who seem to be engaged in some very heartfelt conversation. 

“Let’s just say we have our creative differences. I’m sure Hinata would agree. We don’t see eye to eye on more levels than just height.”

Jimmy laughs, looking at the audience in disbelief. “Well, I’m sure we’ll be seeing a response from Hinata sooner or later today. That guy may be short, but he can fill an entire room if he needs to.”

Kageyama’s phone dings right away and Jimmy urges him to look at it. _Obviously_ , it's Hinata.

**Hinata Shouyou** @sunshineshouyou

@kageyamatobio Drop dead.

The tweet fills the screen behind him and the crowd erupts into laughter. Jimmy laughs too, smacking his palm against his desk. “You two sure are quite the pair on and off-screen.”

“I beg to differ,” Kageyama says nonchalantly. 

* * *

“Shouyou, are you aware that since last night #kageyamavshinata has been trending on twitter?”

Hinata groans, dragging his palm down his face. “Don’t get me started on that guy. It’s enough that filming with him was _absolute hell.”_ Hinata presses his hand against his head, flattening his hair in an attempt to impersonate his co-star. 

_“Hinata you suck, Hinata eat grass, Hinata you look constipated.”_

Ellen laughs, rocking back in her chair with glee. “Does he really talk like that?”

“Oh, _absolutely,_ ” Hinata nods with all the sincerity in the world, and the audience cracks up.

“Well then, should we not have hope for a continuation of _Haikyuu?_ ” Ellen asks, sitting back in her chair and crossing her legs. “It seems like things have gone south between the two of you.”

“Don’t be silly. _I_ obviously will still be involved with Haikyuu. Its Kageyama that you shouldn’t hold out hope for. He’s the deuteragonist after all, totally replaceable,” Hinata smiles brightly as if he’s declaring his favourite ice cream flavour.

Ellen tips her head back in laughter, folding her arms across her chest as scenes of Kageyama’s closeups fill the screen behind them. “I think you might’ve just offended a lot of people, Shouyou,” she says jokingly.

“They know I’m talking about Kageyama, don’t worry. And if he’s allowed to talk smack about me on live TV, then I’m allowed to do the same,” Hinata declares, and scattered laughter passes through the audience. 

“Right! He was on the _Tonight_ _Show_ a few nights ago, wasn’t he?” 

“Hmph, I wouldn’t know,” Hinata huffs. 

At that, Ellen stands up, clutching her stomach as she laughs. “Oh, of course you don’t,” she says while gesturing to the screen as Hinata’s tweet pops up.

  
  


**Hinata Shouyou** @sunshineshouyou

@kageyamatobio Drop dead.

**Kageyama Tobio** @kageyamatobio

@sunshineshouyou of course you’d want that.

  
  
  


Ellen shakes her head in laughter, reaching over to shake Hinata’s hand. “Can’t wait to have you back on here again, Shouyou.”

Hinata blushes in embarrassment but smiles nonetheless. “It’s always a pleasure Ellen.”

  
  


* * *

**Kageyama Tobio** @kageyamatobio

Leave it to @sunshineshouyou to embarrass himself on national TV.

**Hinata Shouyou** @sunshineshouyou

@kageyamatobio Don’t you have better things to do with your life.

**Hinata Shouyou** @sunshineshouyou

@kageyamatobio Oh wait you don’t.

  
  


* * *

It’s no surprise to anyone when articles start coming up with controversies over Kageyama and Hinata’s feud. #kageyamavshinata trends for three entire days before it starts dying down. Kageyama and Hinata receive countless invitations to be interviewed together, but as predicted, none of them agree. There is radio silence from both of them as fans theorize whether their beloved actors are still at each other’s throats or not.

That is...until Buzzfeed cranks out a new video.

**_New_ ** **_: Hinata Shouyou answers questions while playing with puppies._ **

**_. . ._ **

**“** Oh, gosh, these questions are all very nice. I didn’t expect this to be that easy. I watched the video you guys did with Oikawa and got kinda scared, but all you’ve been asking me are easy questions! AND I get to play with puppies!! Best interview eeeever.” 

Somewhere behind the camera, someone laughs. “Hinata we still have a few more to go, you ready?”

A puppy pounces on Hinata and he squeals in delight. “Yes! Ready!”

“Do you hate Kageyama Tobio?”

Hinata blinks, dazed in his thoughts as he mindlessly laughs, petting the puppies. “Hate is a strong word. I don’t think....” He clears his throat and covers the ears of the puppy he’s petting. “...it’s strong enough to show how much I _despise_ Kageyama,” Hinata says smugly. “Next question!”

“Why do you hate Kageyama Tobio?”

Hinata groans. “Because he’s a....butthole!! Excuse my language. Imagine the _meanest_ person in the world— yeah, that’s Kageyama. We went out together once, courtesy of Ukai because he suggested we learn to get along, and this guy has the AUDACITY to suggest paying everything for me as if I can’t pay for my own stuff!!”

There’s silence in the video that remains unedited as the people behind the camera choke on air. The video ends like that, and this time #kagehina is trending.

  
  


* * *

  
  


**belle <3skagehina**@kagayhina

KAGEHINA IS CANON KAGEHINA IS CANON KAGEHINA IS REAL

**MINlikestoebio** @kagelicious

I TOLD Y’ALL THEY WERE GAY FOR EACH OTHER.

**Jana| KGHN REAL** @ceoofbottoms

So kagehina went on a date and Hinata didn’t know it was a date, basically. Mood.

**BuzzFeed** @buzzfeed

Shall we ask Kageyama Tobio some questions? #AskTobio

* * *

  
  


**_New_ ** **_: Kageyama Tobio answers questions while playing with kittens._ **

  
  


“I feel like I’m going to regret this,” Kageyama says nervously, watching as the crew carries a litter of kittens and sets them around him. “Animals don’t usually like me, they prefer someone like Shou- UH s-showing other people love....or something.”

**belle <3skagehina**@kagayhina

@buzzfeed He was DEFINITELY going to say Shouyou.

**ceoofkghn** @latisanopp

@kagayhina I’M SURE ASF!!

  
  


“They seem to like you just fine, Kageyama. Are you ready? We’ve got a lot to get through.”

“O-Oh yeah, sure,” Kageyama says distractedly as a kitten claws at his shirt to be petted. 

“Have you ever dated anyone?”

Kageyama doesn’t reply for a moment, too distracted with the kittens. “What? Oh uh...yeah I guess?” 

The staff chuckle, sending someone out to take away a few of the kittens so he can concentrate. “Need some help?”

“I...I get to adopt them all after this right?” Kageyama says almost mournfully.

“Y-Yes? If you want to? But there’s like ten of them-”

“I want them _all.”_

There’s a moment of silence and then someone behind the camera clears their throat “O-Okay, let’s get on with more questions. So, Kageyama, do you tend to pay when you take someone out on a date?”

Kageyama contemplates this for a moment, stroking a kitten. “Uhh, yeah. I don’t really ask people out all too often though, but when I do I offer to pay.”

**Jana| KGHN REAL** @ceoofbottoms

Holy fick. Kagehina confirmed.

**Kagehina Proposal!!** @bbbel.f

So did he ask Hinata out-

**Kori| loves kghn** @kori.lh

HE DOESN’T ASK OFTEN BUT HE ASKED HINATA

“Have you ever taken any co-workers out on a date?”

At that Kageyama looks at the camera funny, like he’s figuring out something. “Are you guys trying to bait me with what Hinata said in his video?” 

“It’s not really _baiting,_ Kageyama, these are questions your fans asked on twitter.”

Kageyama sighs, running a hand through his hair frustratedly. “Well for the record, even if I did, it would never be Hinata. I’d rather ask a garbage can. At least they don’t wack me in the head with set equipment.”

Everyone laughs, and they move on to the next question. “If you had to go somewhere with Hinata for a week, where would you go?”

Kageyama guffaws, picking up another kitten. “Are all these questions going to be about Hinata?” He asks, eyes darting around the set for some sort of answer, but gets none. “I wouldn’t go anywhere with him. You could send us to the moon and back and we’d still feel the same about each other.”

“What do you think about #kagehina?”

Kageyama glares at the camera. “It’s so ******* stupid. Who the **** has the time of day to come up with **** like that?”

“K-Kageyama! You can’t swear!”

“Oh—my bad.”

* * *

  
  


**_Trends_ **

_#kagehinaisoverparty_

_#kagehinaisover_

**Kghnsimpenergy** @haikyuuwu

@buzzfeed Wow that video just shattered so many people’s hearts.

**ceoofkghn** @latisanopp

@haikyuuwu HEART SHATTERED ASF!!

**Keely!!** @special._.33

I’ve never seen Kageyama THAT antagonised over someone that he swore a shitstorm smh.

**belle <3skagehina**@kagayhina

im cryinf thid is so SAD

**Top 10 Celebs That Hate Each Other - Insider.com**

_Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shouyou Feature_

**Hottest Celebs Feuds - Gossipmag.com**

Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio Scoop!

**Famous Co-Stars Who Hate Each Other - Ranker.com**

_Special on Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shouyou!_

* * *

“Tsukishima, do you have anything to say about the Kageyama and Hinata situation? It seems like their fight has escalated a lot from their filming days. I might even say it got out of hand!” James Corden gestures to the screen with a flash of his hand to display the entirety of the kagehina discourse over the past weeks. 

Tsukishima clicks his tongue, pushing the rim of his glasses further up his face. “That? Oh, it’s about time it fell apart, actually. I’m surprised it even lasted this long.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, its not my place to get involved with those idiots, so-”

James immediately stands up, hand flying to the comms in his ear. “Hold on, I’m going to have to stop you there Tsukishima. I’m getting some big news here.”

Tsukishima sighs, settling his into his seat. He can almost tell by the way James is jittering what the news is. Corden leaps toward the screen, composing himself. “Ladies and gentlemen, it seems like your favourite duo aren’t fighting after all.” 

In the time that it takes Tsukishima to blink, pictures of Kageyama and Hinata are plastered all across the screens, clearly engaged in a heated makeout session. Tsukishima groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I could definitely have gone without seeing that today. I haven’t even had dinner yet.” 

The audience laughs, erupting into cheers as the world rejoices for kagehina. 

  
  


* * *

“What exactly were you two trying to accomplish with that feud?” Ellen laughs, looking between the freak duo and her audience. “You had the entire world fooled!”

Hinata laughs, nudging Kageyama. “Well, we didn’t really plan this? We got into a dumb fight and Kageyama just so _happened_ to carry it over into his talk show feature, and then it sort of became a competition to see who could be meaner to each other.”

“It sounds stupid when you say it like that,” Kageyama grumbles, and the audience laughs.

Ellen throws her head back in laughter, gesturing to the audience. “Can you believe them?” It takes a good thirty seconds for the audience to fully settle. By the end of it, both Kageyama and Hinata’s cheeks are flushed pink with embarrassment. 

“Building on that,” Ellen cocks her head to the side, clearly amused, and the leaked paparazzi pictures of Kageyama and Hinata flash onscreen behind them. “Do you two have anything to say about those?”

“No,” is all Kageyama manages to croak out. 

Hinata wails, hiding his face in Kageyama’s arm, and rightfully so, since Hinata’s pictures are the more...indecent of the two. “ I thought we were alone!”

“Well whatever you thought, you clearly were not alone,” she chuckles. “But I must say, these photos are very flattering for both of you. Have you ever considered doing-”

“GWAH stop stop stoOOOp!!” Hinata chokes, nearly falling out of his seat. Kageyama looks like he’s about to pass out.

The audience collapses with laughter, and Ellen hides the photos with a flick of her wrist. “Well, Kageyama, Shouyou, I’m glad you accepted our offer to come explain yourselves on the show. I’m sure the world is ecstatic that kagehina are finally together.”

“Oh, we’ve been together since season two of _Haikyuu_.”

The entire audience goes silent. 

“Well, there you have it, folks. Kagehina has been official since season 2 of Haikyuu.” 

* * *

  
  


**Kghnsimpenergy** @haikyuuwu

I KNEW IT, GDI I CALLED IT

**belle <3skagehina**@kagayhina

I’M CRYINF BUT NOW ITS HAPPY TEARS

**Jana| KGHN REAL** @ceoofbottoms

I hate the world. How many times are they gonna mess with my heart?

**ceoofkghn** @latisanopp

I’m not over the pics. Brb gonna study for analysis.

**iWantTobioUrs** @mikoko.loco

@latisanopp for academic purposes? Let me join.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Kagehina trended on twt for a week after that. Come scream at me on Instagram or twitter, I'm (@chocolavi_) !!


End file.
